she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
