I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
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You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
