it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
