You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
