I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
