Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
