thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
