Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
