Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
