My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
