Sry I called you an 8
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
