i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
