Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
