whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize