i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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