I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
even my farts smell like vagina
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
