My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
