you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
