I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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