awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
