my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
