i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
hell yes lets make some ravioli
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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