I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
