nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
