What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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