I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
