pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
