eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize