I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
