I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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