Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
