I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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