How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
