Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize