There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
two words: eviction party
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
