Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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