I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
