just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize