last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
