I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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