I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She told me I should be a condom model.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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