Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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