you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
