i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize