He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
