I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
