Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize