OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
