I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
