he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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