I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
