last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
