Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
