Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
