My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
