you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
