called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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