She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
