jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
