the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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