Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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