you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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