i don't like sucking hair
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
