He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
