i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize