I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you will always have a special place in my vag
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
