if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
